It's Not Misalignment, It's a Mission—And Missions Require Sacrifice

I was in the middle of assembling the transit calendar for the remainder of 2025 when this message came through and literally would not let me continue until I gave it the space to say its piece. I dropped what felt like (to me, at least) a bomb in my last newsletter, and even though I tried to nonchalantly disguise it as a side detail to my story, going back to corporate work is actually a really big fucking deal.

It feels like my entire world has been flipped upside down, and there were several moments this week that were incredibly challenging and left me wondering if I made an enormous mistake. But as I spend this weekend reflecting back on those moments, I’ve been reminded that this is part of the mission—and a mission is rarely ever easy.

How It All Started

I meditate and “commune with the divine” daily, but when things get really challenging, I pray. Hands clasped, on my knees, speaking out loud to God, often through tears. And if I’m being honest sometimes it’s not even on my knees, it’s curled up on the floor. That level of drama doesn’t happen often—but when it does, I know I’m being forced to pay attention to something important.

The last time I had felt like that was in 2022 during my second week of grad school. I had a job that I was good at, a team that I loved, and worked for a company who’s values aligned with mine. I had been dreaming about working for myself for a few years, but when I looked around it seemed like all the boxes were checked, so I thought I would take advantage of the full tuition reimbursement program and pursue higher education that would support me in advancing my career. It just made sense.

But after only two weeks, I found myself sobbing on the floor, begging God to show me the way forward. The schoolwork wasn’t hard, it was just painfully boring and surface level, which felt soul-sucking to me. I pleaded for direction, explaining that if I wasn’t going to get a Master’s degree I needed another way to learn and grow—and that’s when I heard, clear as day—”It’s time to leave. Start planning,” followed by a deep sense of peace and an inner knowing of exactly what I was supposed to do.

I withdrew from school the next day, making the cutoff where I would be refunded the tuition. I pursued a coaching certification and began seeing clients on the side. I told my boss that I didn’t know exactly when, but I would be leaving within the next year and began preparing my successor to take over. Everything fell together effortlessly and nine months later I collected my bonus, submitted my notice, and was free.

This is how I learned what it was like to “receive instructions” and the magic that happens when I follow them.

The Next Set of Instructions

Fast forward to January 2025. I had been working full time in my business for almost two years and together we moved through more iterations than I could count. I joked that self-employment is the most accelerated personal development course I had ever taken. Every challenge forced me to integrate a shadow or face a limiting belief I didn’t even realize I was clinging to. I learned how I worked best, what I liked and what I didn’t, what I valued, what made me angry, what inspired me and what I was inspired to change. The learning was constant, and every day I woke up feeling like I had evolved to yet another level of mental, emotional and spiritual growth. Through working for myself, I met and learned to embody who I really am, discovered that I am capable of more than I ever thought possible and met incredible friends along the way.

But one day, I woke up and didn’t want to do any of it anymore.

What once felt expansive was making me feel stuck on autopilot. I resented social media and everyone on it, and every day grew more and more frustrated by the hustle. I was tired of the constant tending, constant marketing and constant selling that was required to make it sustainable. I was cranking out classes and podcast episodes every week and growing more and more frustrated by the fact that business became 80% content creation and only 20% of the actual work I enjoy.

I had come home from a sober night out with friends and was angry at myself for my inability to be present with them because I was in my head about what I needed to do for the business. This wasn’t a single occurrence, I spent a lot of “free” time trying to figure out what to do/create/sell and that night was the tipping point. I was crumpled up on the floor again, begging God to show me what to do next, ashamed that I was feeling this way about a business that I had birthed and was supposed to love.

That’s when I received another set of instructions, clear as day… “It’s time to go back.”

The Mission

I experienced the same sense of deep calm and inner knowing when I initially heard the message, but how I felt when I woke up the next day was a different story. I must have gotten it wrong. It must have just been a moment of desperation and panic and it was just my fear talking, and all I needed to do was (more) shadow work.

But as I sat with it, I realized that I was part of a pattern I had witnessed emerging around me. Several of my friends who were gifted healers and mediums were being called back to seemingly “traditional” work. I closed my eyes and asked God to help me make sense of it—to help me see the bigger picture so I could better understand the part I was meant to play in it. And then I saw how going back to work was part of the plan all along… I just wasn’t allowed to know that piece of the puzzle yet, because it would have influenced how I experienced the past two years.

I was shown a zoomed out picture of our planet, with millions of specks of light representing those of us who chose to incarnate on Earth to help facilitate the inevitable awakening of our collective consciousness. We’ll call them the Army. I believe Dolores Cannon called them the Volunteers. Each member of this army is required to go through a training of sorts to learn about who they are and remember why they’re here. Once they’ve successfully completed their training, each is mobilized like a chess piece, strategically placed somewhere in the world where they can make the most impact. This is their mission.

I indirectly shared a little bit about this vision this in the introduction of Episode 62. Reverse Engineering an Aligned Life with Andrea Horvath.

Once I could see the big picture, I knew exactly the next steps to take, the same as the last time I received instructions like this. I reached out to contacts, learned about potential opportunities and patiently waited for divine timing to do its thing. Three months later, I had secured a position that was a perfect fit for my skills, experience and passion. Everything fell together faster than I could have imagined. Based on what I had been hearing about the current state of the job market, this was another sign that I was on the right path. I even consulted with a medium who confirmed the same. And not to give too much away, but accepting the mission of going back to corporate work is rewarding me in other ways I didn’t anticipate by allowing me to explore long-lost passions—but more on that another day.

Release the Shame

I share this with you because I know I’m not the only one who is being called to let go of what I thought was my dream. There’s a lot of shame that I had to work through, I worried about what my audience would think, if it would be perceived as a failure, etc.

If you’re feeling pulled in a different direction, it’s okay to let go. You are not on the wrong path, the mission just may not look the way you think it should. It may not be to become the spiritual coach who teaches about consciousness or the reiki master who facilitates healing sessions with clients with crystals and singing bowls. For many of us, the mission requires us to be a trojan horse doing work that seems invisible. Much of this war is being fought on an energetic level. Our most powerful weapon is our energy—and the way we wield it is by simply being present in spaces that are in desperate need of higher vibration. But it won’t be easy. That’s why we had to train.

For me, the mission is to take what I’ve learned about the world and the courage I’ve developed in the past two years and use it to model a new way of working and leading in a space that many people often blame for their “conditioning” and dissatisfaction with their lives. So when I have tough days where I’m feeling restricted or misunderstood, I’m reminded that those moments are windows of opportunity to create positive change instead of falling back into complacency. These are the moments where I now have the strength to respond differently and influence a better outcome that will result in ripple effects that have a positive impact on others throughout the organization, or at least I can hope.

Maturity vs. Misalignment

I predict that this theme will become more prominent when Saturn begins his trip through Aries. The work that we’ve done in the shadows of our subconscious for the past two years will demand to be materialized somehow on the physical plane. That’s what Saturn does—it helps us develop the structure and maturity to learn from our experience and build our path forward. Saturn is what helps us make the impact we came here to make, and asks us to sacrifice our comfort for the good of our evolution.

In short—discomfort is not a sign of misalignment. It’s a signal that it’s time to grow.

I’m curious if you know what you’re being called to let go of, or the new path you’re being encouraged to pursue. I hope that sharing my experience with you can give you even the smallest bit of validation for what you’re feeling and intuitively tapping into.

Even though your mission is uniquely yours, you are never alone. There is an entire army of us working alongside you, cheering you on as we each do our part in creating a better world.

I love you so much, and it is an absolute honor to be doing this work with you.

Marissa

“We speak to you, as if you are not human. Because to us, you are not. To us, you are members of the family of light.” - Ace of Cups: LSDREAM