We are in a collective period of death and endings—and I am no exception.
I’m writing to you in the final hours of the dark moon before she begins a new cycle in Taurus, from my deck, which I realize now was incredibly underutilized last season. Having outdoor space was half of the reason I purchased a home in the first place. It’s so easy to lose sight of the things we value when we get too busy in our plans for what’s next. And as I write “rebirth”, a robin lands on the post in front of me with a mouthful of materials for its nest. Okay, Universe God. I hear you.
It feels like you have to muster up some courage to use the word “God” instead of “Universe”, doesn’t it? It’s all the same to me—but “God” feels more bold.
I don’t remember exactly the moment I knew that things were changing, but it was sudden. I’m tempted to say it was “without warning”, but when I think back to try to pinpoint the moment I first felt the signs there are several instances that come to mind, meaning that this has probably been in front of my face for a while now and had gotten used to being brushed off and ignored.
But as I move through a Mars Return*, ignoring the things I don’t want to see is no longer an option. Powering through burnout and pretending that I’m still creating from a place of passion is not the way forward. And as much as I feel guilty/ ashamed/ selfish/ embarrassed to admit it, continuing to drive this business in the same direction based on what has worked in the past…. is just not working for me anymore.
A Mars Return occurs when the transiting Mars returns to the exact sign and degree it was when you were born. It happens every 1.5 - 2 years, serving as a cosmic recalibration by making it painfully obvious where you are aligned with what you’re passionate about, and where you’re not. If your natal Mars is in Leo, you’re also experiencing this now, or will be soon. Pay attention to your anger and frustration—they’re trying to tell you what needs to go.
The domino that kicked off the series of events that would lead me to this realization was starting a new job. This chapter was initiated by forces beyond my control—occurring right smack dab in the middle of eclipse season, with my start date following the final solar eclipse in Aries in my 10th House of Career. If I hadn’t been tracking my personal transits and anticipating this sudden change, I would have been suspicious of being “tricked”. But the more I surrendered to what felt inevitable, the more everything fell into place with shocking ease and speed. And perhaps the most surprising part to me is that at least during these initial 2 weeks, I feel more happier and fulfilled than I ever did in my business. And I’m not ashamed to admit that.
One of the obvious benefits of going back to “regular” employment is the sense of financial stability and security it provides. Did you know that uncertainty is one of the most taxing things for your mental energy? Because when you’re faced with chronic uncertainty, your subconscious mind is always planning how to survive the worst case scenario. The constant uncertainty of where the money was going to come from next put a real drain on my cognitive and creative ability and I found myself stuck on autopilot in a business that was supposed to make me feel free.
As soon as I knew I didn’t have to depend on the business to pay my mortgage or put food on my table, I started to see the parts of it that needed to be let go.
And one of those parts, sadly, is the podcast.
Honoring Our 9 Year
If you are a regular listener, I’ve been talking about the death and endings that we will be experiencing this year but felt the need to reassure you that “the podcast isn’t going anywhere.” I realize now that feeling the need to call that out was one of the signs that the it would be coming to a close—I was just trying to convince myself that if I clung to it tightly enough, I could push through and find a way to somehow make it exempt from the energy of this year.
Initially the realization devastated me. The thought of ending it brought me to tears. I tried to negotiate with God that maybe I just needed another break to recharge, but deep down I knew that wasn’t going to be enough this time. As I grieved and reached the stage of acceptance, I began to experience undeniable sense of relief. And now, I’m celebrating its death as a sign that it has successfully fulfilled its purpose.
I began the podcast in June of 2023, three months after leaving my corporate job. I was at the beginning of my hero’s journey, the start of my adventure, and I consciously chose to focus on overcoming one of my greatest fears—the sound of my voice used to make me cringe with anxiety and shame. I recorded the first episode 8 times before finally deciding it was good enough to be heard. I knew nothing about editing, publishing, SEO, but was determined to figure it out as I went along because I had just taken a giant leap of faith and had no other choice. Then from that leap came 77 episodes and an experience that taught me how to face my fear, share my ideas, host meaningful conversations, promote my work, speak my mind, be vulnerable, honor my process of experimentation and refinement—and now it is teaching me one final lesson about letting go.
I know that many of your listen to it to get the scoop for what’s ahead, and to those of you who have taken time to share with me how much you appreciate the work, thank you—it has meant more to me than you know. I don’t want to leave you high and dry—so I’ll be compiling a calendar of the astrology for the rest of the year with my recommendations for working with it and will let you know as soon as it’s available. I also recommend subscribing to
and who are very talented, practical astrologers that write about the current astrological events.What’s Next
I now sit in a sacred in-between—the old version of my business slowly dying while the new one not quite ready to emerge. This is an uncomfortable space for me because I grasp to the belief that my time needs to be spent either being productive and helpful or resting so that I have the energy to be productive and helpful again.
But it’s in the moments I feel lost that my inner child knows exactly what to do. And she has been gently reminding me that when we were young, we loved to write, we loved to paint, and we loved to dance. We were an artist with multiple interests—all we wanted to do was create.
So while I don’t know what comes next, one thing I do know is that I will spend this time reigniting the creative spark that died the moment I grew up. I’ve started reading the Artist’s Way, which I know many of you here are familiar with, and will devote myself to morning pages and whatever else comes through, releasing the idea that I need to have a plan before I take this step.
As I move through this process, I likely won’t be as present here, and when I am, it probably won’t be to talk about astrology. However, one thing that I do still feel lit up by is offering personal business readings, because bringing a vision into form on the physical plane is unarguably a divine expression of creativity. I won’t be actively promoting them, honoring the fact that whatever is meant to unfold has a better chance of doing so when I release control of the situation. If we are meant to work together, I have full faith that you will find your way to me.
This is where I leave you, for now. Thank you for being here, for witnessing me on this journey, and for the work you’re doing in the world to make it a little bit better than we found it.
I love you so much,
Marissa